you ever been inna rush and then been like “shit!” I gotta take a shit. so you then rush to the bathroom. butt then it was too late. lol me neither
— I call this one “ at 30 life hits you fast
nature is life natural nature-all its all natural
— I call this one all natural
raise your glasses for a toast…
never where flip flops
you don’t want to get caught in the wave
or at the beach
you’ll never get a pass for wearing thongs
— I call this one beach bums or I love the beaches or I love beaches
what do you call waking up one day and knowing the exact time and the exact amount of time you spent just being adolescent. know all the nutritional value you ate the night before and what nutritional value you have in your diet at all times. and then realizing you’ve worked too much so you’re ready for an early retirement. then realizing its time to go so you start your day even though its early you got shit to do. you would call this 30 years old.
— I call this dirty thirty
I like it when bitches are on my dick. so I like it when shes like “omg wtf did you finish my honey dew list.”
— I call this bitches on my dick
I just put the new grips and the scope on the Choppa hammy
— I call this 30 years old
someone got fired from their job. because their boss couldn’t get it together and was unprepared and had all the employees do all the work that makes the business work and the boss had know work to show.
— I call this don’t quit your day job
I told my wife if I had a 100 dollar bill for everytime she told me to carry the backpack for all my kids and her at Disneyland. I would be a rich man… or I would invest and invent something to carry them… she told me if she wasn’t already married to a rich man she wouldn’t have invented the front pack.
— I call this winner winner chicken dinner
“ and then they lived happily ever after… the end” “alright kids how was that story”…
…pops…
where were the credits or the like comment and subscribe…
